Browsing Category: Writing

She is Lovely

Look at this beauty.

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She’s such a gorgeous girl inside and out. I pray she’ll always know that, and I pray she’ll always let it shine through. I wish I could keep her from ever doubting it. I wish I could shield her from the messages the world will throw at her – the lies – that she has to look or act a certain way to be beautiful. All parents have hopes and dreams for their kids, but one of the deepest desires I have for my daughter is that she knows she is valuable and worthy and beautiful. I want to do everything in my power to instill in her the truth that G is the most beautiful when she is G. She only needs to be herself. I want her to always be bubbling little G even when she’s no longer little.

I know it starts with me. I have to believe I am beautiful. If I believe I am somehow of less value than those around me, my daughter will absolutely pick up on it. Children are sponges. Their brains can take in a lot more information than we think they can. The more information you give a child at an early age, the greater capacity the brain has to store information later on in life. Their brains are built to absorb massive amounts of information while they are young. I am constantly sending messages to my children with everything I do and every word I speak. What do I say about my appearance? Or how do I accept a compliment? What do I say about others? If I am confident in my value and self worth, I believe it sets up my daughter to value herself as well.

I am leading a small group this summer and we are reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. This book is near and dear to my heart, because I read it in the season of my life when I learned to be Lisa. I learned to be comfortable being myself and confident in my beauty. I am reading the book for a second time now with a stellar group of ladies, and we were discussing the section where Stasi writes that the women at this ball she was attending were all exclaiming over each other’s beauty. I absolutely LOVE that we as women can delight in each other’s beauty. Instead of comparing ourselves, we should be celebrating each other! I think it’s such a beautiful concept, because it seems so rare that we truly delight in the beauty of others.  One of the ladies in our group shared this, “Admire other’s beauty. Embrace your own.”

So as I raise my beautiful little girl I hope I will exemplify a woman who delights in the beauty of others. I pray that she learns from me to admire other’s beauty and to embrace her own.

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Because I think she is lovely.

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Confession Time

I have never wanted to cuss more in my life than now that I have 2 kids. Just being completely honest.

I made it through two drug free all natural labors without cussing once. Not once. And now that I am caring for two children day in and day out, it comes so naturally you’d think I’ve cussed all my life. And I haven’t. It’s just not something I do (er…did). Let me explain.

Sunday Morning

Josh leaves for church around 7 am to practice with the worship team. G was up as soon as he left, in bed with me and A-man. Since we’re all up early  I decide to go to first service at 9 AM. It will be tight but we can make it. Everything starts out all smiley and Easter-y. I’m imagining both kids all dressed up in their Easter best, taking Easter photos of them together and heading to church with enough time to grab a bagel before service starts. I’ve got high aspirations folks. Things quickly deteriorate from “I love my chillens. They’re the cutest things in the world!” to “Holy $h-t! What is happening?! Why is everyone having a meltdown, right now?!”

….

G wants to put her shoes on.

Ok G. Momma’s feeding the baby. Go get your shoes out of the hall closet.

Comes back with flip flops.

No G. We’re wearing our dressy shoes. Go get the blue shoes. (I try to communicate with the child still learning her colors).

No MOM! WAAAAAHHHHHH! Shoes on! Shoes on! (as she thrusts them at me repeatedly)

Meltdown #1 occurs.

Eventually we get the appropriate shoes on.

…..

Now Mom is trying to get ready. Do her makeup. Look a little bit nice for Easter Sunday.

Baby is crying on the bed. I can’t make him happy, so he’ll have to cry while I get dressed.

G takes her shoes off and starts crying again. (We’ve got them both going at once now.)

WAAAAAHHHHHH! Shoes on! Shoes on!

G leave your shoes on! If you take them off again I’m not putting them back on!

Meltdown #2 and #3 There’s no way I’m getting Easter photos of these two.

…..

Time to go. Baby is crying. Not sure why. I start putting him in his car seat anyway. Only makes him more mad.

G takes her shoes off again.

“WTF?! Jesus, it’s Easter!” (like he doesn’t know and like that means he’s supposed to perfectly order my life for me)

Sorry Lord. I’m going crazy here.

…..

Buckling G into her car seat.

Don’t cry G. Please no more crying. Momma can’t take it. I can’t handle it. Mom’s gonna start crying.

She starts to cry as I close the door. Shoes on! Mom! Shoes on!

I told her I wouldn’t put them on again if she took them off.

I put them on.

Narrowly escaped Meltdown #4

Monday Morning

I’m not even really sure what happened here. I just knew I couldn’t stay at the house.

The baby was crying and G was begging me to go bye bye. I’m with ya, G. I’m with ya.

I get them in the car, hoping the drive will calm my crying baby who doesn’t want to be consoled. I drive to the library to return my books that are due. And then I have no idea where to go. Everything I need to do is at home, but there’s no way I’m going back there. I have things to return to Target, which basically means “free money” to spend and even that doesn’t lift my mood. I have ZERO desire to go to Target. Clearly something is not right. I’m getting more depressed by the minute as I run by option after option and I can come up with nothing. Starbucks – don’t want to spend the money on the calories/sugar that I don’t want to consume. I don’t want to take my kids to Trader Joe’s or any other grocery store because I don’t think I can handle having a melt down in public.

Now driving aimlessly, I finally decide to call my mom, not knowing what else to do. She tells me to come out to the house.  Feeling sorry for me, she also invites us to dinner, knowing without even asking that I’ve got nothing planned. She’s right, of course. Hadn’t crossed my mind once. Thank God. It would’ve stressed me out more.

Tuesday Morning

I don’t remember Tuesday morning. I know it was rough too. Obviously, I’ve blocked it from my memory.

 

What’s the point? Where am I going with all of this?

I just want other moms to know they’re not alone. We all have rough days… or in my case rough weeks :)

And then in the midst of all the crap, I meet with Jesus. Miraculously, both kids fell asleep at the same time today. The song “Great I Am” by New Life Worship was playing in our house. I  took a moment to close my eyes and talk to Jesus and he met me right where I was. When you stop focusing on yourself and your crap, and you focus on Jesus, He puts it all into perspective. God it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful. We are so undeserving of Him and His love, but He just pours it out on us, unconditionally. He accepts me as I am. With all my flaws and imperfections. The love of God never ceases to amaze me. Since I don’t think I can put into words how it feels, I’m including this video. It’s a song that our friend Kara sang on Sunday. She rocked it, man.

 

Please note that I do not cuss at my children. It’s in my head, to myself, under my breath. Please also note I love my life, and I love my kids. My goal in life is to be real. I can’t stand fake. We all feel alone at times, and if I can help someone out by sharing the less than beautiful parts of my life, I absolutely will.  

 

Our Son’s Birth Story

Our son’s birth story as told to him in the journal I kept while pregnant with him.
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It all began Sunday morning. We were rushing to get ready for church because I wanted to go to first service. I had jumped in the shower to bathe your sister and just as your dad was getting her out a contraction hit. I have contractions all the time from 20 weeks on and even more so as my due date draws near so this would have been completely normal except I could really feel this one. I realized in the middle of the contraction that I was using the hot water on my back to help with it. That’s when I said to Josh “Maybe we’re not supposed to be going to first service.” That was about 8:15.

 

I decided to lay down in bed and drink some water to see if the contractions would let up. I wasn’t there but a few minutes when I was up going to the bathroom and having another “real” contraction. Your dad had taken G to play in the family room, but I wanted him to be with me so I sent a text to your grandma at 8:30 to let her know I was having “some pretty good contractions”. After some indecision and anxiety about whether I was in labor or not I finally told her to come to the house at 9:20. I really needed your dad to be with me because I was battling some major anxiety. Anxiety that this labor would be like G’s. Anxiety about the pain and the unknowns. We had just established the night before during our date that anxiety was a very real issue in my life and something that Josh needed to pray against. So your dad came and prayed for me and I texted 2 others to have them pray for me as well. After that the peace of God just sort of slipped in. I had started the the birth playlist I created earlier in the week which was all worship music. Then I just walked and worshiped between contractions. I just kept walking – first in our bedroom then out to the “formal living room” where the computer was playing the music. I’d walk and rub my belly or I’d walk with my hands raised in worship. It was beautiful. It was exactly how I had imagined labor this time: peaceful and in the presence of God. When a contraction would come I would stand with my hands on the computer desk for support and just move through them. Sometimes I’d move my hips in circles, sometimes figure eights, sometimes swinging front to back, but almost always dipping up and down, keeping my knees loose to make sure I didn’t tense up against the pain. At some point I started to smile as the contractions hit their peak or even laugh! I was so thankful my body knew what to do and that The Lord was giving me the birth he had promised. Earlier in the week your dad and I were praying as we went to sleep and as your dad finished praying for me and your upcoming birth I felt the Holy Spirit say, “This is going to be a good birth.” And as we often do when the Holy Spirit speaks, I questioned whether it was Him or just me thinking that and wanting it to be from God. So as each contraction peaked I found myself laughing or crying tears of joy – the kind you cry when His presence is so strong you can’t help but cry. I am still amazed at His goodness :)

 

Eventually, Josh would come and stand behind me as the contractions got stronger. He just held my hips or sometimes held a heating pad to my low back. At times I felt the contractions in my back but NOTHING like the back labor I had with G. During this time I tried to eat and drink as much as I could to make sure I had the energy I would need all the way through. Last labor I got so weak at the end of 19 hours that they were forcing me to eat and I did NOT want to eat when in that kind of pain. So I drank juice, lots of water, iced pregnancy tea, and ate applesauce and a banana. I tried to eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich but just couldn’t do it. About 5 hours after the first contraction I decided to head to the birth center. Contractions were getting closer together about 2-3 minutes apart. They had been about 5-6 min apart.

 

When we called to tell them we were coming in we requested to be in the same room where G was born. It’s the smaller room but I knew I felt comfortable there and hoped that would help labor progress. We arrived at 1:35 PM. At this point contractions were nice and strong. They checked me and I was 4 centimeters. I was happy but contractions were getting stronger and stronger very quickly. I thought “Dear God. I better be dilating a lot because these are intense.” They were so intense. I was vocalizing and moving so much just to get through the pain. I wanted them to check me again, but it had only been an hour and what if I hadn’t dilated at all? That’s worse than not knowing.

 

For every contraction I stood at the dresser and Josh held the heating pad wrapped around my front while also pushing on my low back. Again, some back pain but not like with G. Although I DO think these contractions were more intense. I got to the point where I would bang my fists on the dresser as each contraction peaked. Then I felt like I might throw up, and I had hope, because I knew that meant I was probably entering transition. They checked me about an hour and 20 minutes after getting there and this time I was 7-8 centimeters dilated. Thank you Jesus! I knew those contractions had to be that intense for a reason. They told me I could get in the tub. As I waited for the giant tub to fill with water the contractions were intensifying and I just kept thinking “I’ve gotta get in that tub!”

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Once in the tub your dad got in behind me to push on my back or push/pull on my hips to help open my pelvis. I was just waiting for that urge to push! When it came, the midwife Nora and birth assistant Debbie heard me and came rushing in. (All hands on deck :) I asked if I was allowed to push and Nora said I could so I started pushing. Your dad was behind me the whole time, pulling on my hips while I pushed. At this point your grandma was also in the room and at some point G came in with your Aunt Zoe (Zoe originally said she didn’t want to be there because she didn’t want to be traumatized for life. lol) I only remember being vaguely aware that G was in the room. I was completely focused on pushing. I could feel when you moved down and as painful as it is, it really is the one of the coolest feelings. After one of the pushes I reached down to see if I could feel your head and I could! Except I realized it wasn’t your head it was your sac. My water hadn’t broken yet! During one of the next contractions there was a giant pop. I jumped it scared me so bad. My water had broke and soon after you were crowning. Nora told me I had to change positions because she wanted to see what was going on. I ended up on hands and knees with your dad in front of me, supporting me to keep my head out of the water. I knew your dad wanted to be the one to catch you but when the midwife says move, you move! All of this was happening very fast while you were crowning and the birth assistant was telling me to do little breaths and not push so that your head would gradually stretch me without tearing. I was trying so hard to do the little breaths but then I’d start pushing then I’d go back to breathing. I seemed so out of control. And then after about 15-20 minutes of pushing they told me your head was out. I have no idea why I cannot tell when my babies’ heads come out! Next thing I know Nora is pulling you the rest of the way out and telling me to lift my right leg over your umbilical cord and flip over. She handed you to me, and you were so tiny! You were completely covered in vernix because you came 2 and a half weeks early. I was just completely in awe of you and how fast you came. I couldn’t believe it. I just kept saying “Hi baby. Hi baby.” You were born at 3:38 PM – 2 hours after arriving at Birthways.

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Your respirations were high at first so they had me rubbing your back while we sat in the tub. Apparently, you also had a short umbilical cord. I don’t know why or how that happens. We weren’t in the tub too long when they had me get out to deliver the placenta on the bed – still holding you of course. That’s when they told me that there was no tearing, and I said “Thank you Jesus!” I said that phrase so many times in the hours that followed your birth. God answered so many prayers. Your birth was so wonderful that I couldn’t help, but be overwhelmingly grateful. Even during the extremely intense contractions of the last 2 hours I would pray, “God give me a break. I just need a little break.” Then I’d think, “No. I’d rather he come fast. Let’s do this!”

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After delivering the placenta, your dad cut the umbilical cord. Then I nursed you while your dad hung out in bed with us. (Your sister was asleep in the family room.) Josh and I couldn’t believe how great everything had gone. You were even nursing like a champ :) Eventually everyone came in to see you and hold you. Both grandfathers cried when they held you for the first time. Zoe couldn’t stop crying either – I think because she actually witnessed your birth. I don’t know if it’s possible to see the miracle of birth and not cry.

 

Everyone was commenting on how tiny you were. You weighed in at 6 pounds 8 ounces and measured 18 inches long. Much smaller than your sister but also 3 weeks earlier than she was. You surprised us all coming so early and so fast :) but I’m so glad you did!

 

In the hours that followed your birth I felt the same natural high and joy that I felt after G’s birth. I was very talkative – like when I drink too much caffeine :) And I was eating everything in sight!

 

When G finally woke up she came in to meet you. I think she was overwhelmed by the 13 people in one tiny room. She clung to me and did not want to look at you until we told her, “The baby brought you candy, G!” Then she smiled real big and pointed at you and said, “Baby!” She then proceeded to eat the entire box of candy hearts that your Poppa, thankfully, had in his pocket.

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A few hours later, dressed in one of your dad’s outfits from when he was a baby, we strapped you in your car seat and headed home as a family of four.

 

 

G’s Birth Story

This is G’s birth story as told to her in the journal I kept while pregnant with her.

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I woke up around midnight on March 15th with contractions. I spent some time in the bathroom and when I got back in bed started timing my contractions. They were feeling pretty intense. I couldn’t lie down through them so I sat on the edge of the bed. They were two and a half minutes apart. I got on my hands and knees on the floor then went back to the bathroom and that’s when I called your dad out of bed to tell him I thought I was in labor. He thought we should call Christina, the midwife, right away because my contractions were so close together. When I called I found out she was already at the birth center with another woman in labor. She told me to call back when I was ready to come in.

At that point I got in the shower and labored through contractions on my hands and knees while your dad timed my contractions and called my mom. They both thought we should go to the birth center. So your dad and grandma got together the last minute things and we headed there. I sat facing backwards in the front seat on my knees “hugging” the headrest while your dad drove crazy fast so I didn’t have to be in the car long :)

Once we got to Birthways around 2 A.M. we found out I was 4-5 centimeters dilated. We were so excited! Then I got in the tub and eventually your dad got in with me because it was easier for him to massage or put pressure on my back. A few hours later (around 5 A.M. I think) I was dilated to 6-7 centimeters. I told Christina I wanted her to give me a time that I’d have you by. She said I’d have a baby this morning and that I was progressing faster than the other mom. I was happy with how fast I was progressing but I was definitely watching the clock. Your dad told me to stop.

Well fast forward about 10 hours and I’m still at 6-7 centimeters because you would not get into the correct position! Your back was on my right instead of at my front. I was trying all different positions through the contractions and you just didn’t want to turn. We had people praying, and we were praying and doing all we could but nothing seemed to be working. I was trying not to despair wondering why God didn’t seem to be answering our prayers. I felt like I was in the biggest mental battle of my life, but your dad was right there with me fighting the hopelessness that was trying to overtake me. Finally, your dad and I went into the bathroom to labor for probably an hour or more and while in there he told me to just give in to the contractions. He said something changed in me while we were in the bathroom and later your grandma said so too. Josh said I started moving and vocalizing with the contractions; I wasn’t “scared” of them anymore. I was doing big hip circles through every contraction.

When we went back to the birth room I was laying over a birth ball on the bed, and all of a sudden I started saying over and over, “She’s coming. She’s coming.” I just knew you were coming. It was like in prayer when the Holy Spirit gives me something specific to pray and I know so strongly that it’s from the Lord that I just keep saying it over and over. I don’t know how else to explain it. That’s when my contractions got to the worst point and I was moaning very loudly. We had Christina check me and I was at 8 centimeters! She said we could break my water to help me dilate more. I said yes please! So I lay down on the bed and there was a big gush of warm fluid. The very next contraction I went to 9 centimeters. Why hadn’t we done this sooner?!

At this point I was begging Christina to let me back in the tub because I HATED having contractions while laying on my back. She said I could but only for a little bit. While I was in the tub I started getting the urge to push and the birth assistant said to try not to because I wasn’t fully dilated. That was impossible! When you’re body is pushing, you cannot stop it! So Christina came back into the room and had me get on the bed. I had just a lip of cervix left so she held it back while I pushed. Then she had me continue pushing until we could really see your head. That’s when she allowed me back in the tub to push. When we all first saw the top of your head we got so excited that you had hair, because we didn’t want you to be completely bald!

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Your dad got in with me and I just hung onto him while I pushed through every contraction. During each contraction your head would move forward a little bit more and I would try to support and help everything stretch down there. Your dad reached down to feel your head and he was AMAZED. I agree, it was so crazy to reach down and feel your head and know we were going to see you very soon! IMG_2265

It got to a point where it was stinging badly and I thought I was going to tear and Christina told me to push your head towards my back. That helped. But it still hurt during the contractions. Then all of the sudden Christina told me your head was out and I said, “Her head’s out?!” I wasn’t even able to feel that it had come out. So I knew on the next contraction the rest of you should come out easily. Well, I still had to push just as hard and long but you did come out! You were just floating in the water between me and your dad and the midwife said, “Reach down and pick up your baby, Lisa.” IMG_1236

I saw you floating there and I was in shock. I reached down and lifted you out of the water. I was in complete awe of how beautiful you were. You had such big, beautiful blue eyes and you were so alert! I pulled you to my chest and leaned back in the tub and your dad lay next to me and your grandma was crying. We couldn’t take our eyes off of you. We stayed in the tub for probably 20 minutes just savoring everything. You were born at 6:53 PM. I birthed the placenta shortly thereafter and your dad just thought it was so cool. He got to cut your umbilical cord after it stopped pulsating and then he held you for the first time while I was helped out of the tub. You looked so tiny in his arms and on his big chest.

IMG_2273I got on the bed and began nursing you for the first time while the midwife stitched the 2 small tears I had received. Your dad was next to me and then everyone left so we could have some time just the 3 of us as a family. Your dad and I talked about the whole experience. We were in complete amazement of everything that had happened. Josh kept telling me over and over how proud he was of me and how amazing I was. Your birth definitely brought us closer together in a way that nothing else could. I was so proud of how amazing your dad did through all 19 hours of labor. He supported me 100% the entire time. He pushed on my back through every contraction. He told me he believed in me, that I am a strong woman, and that I was doing a fantastic job. I could NOT have done it without him.

IMG_2291After our time together as a little family, your Poppa was finally allowed in to see you. He’d been anxiously waiting all day. Then your Grandpa Sommers came in. Both grandfathers cried. Eventually everyone came in to see you and hold you. They commented on how alert you were and we said, “It’s because she wasn’t drugged!” I realized later what a natural high I had too. I was so joyful and talkative. I was laughing and making jokes. All of this after 19 hours of intense labor and no food. They had tried to get me to eat or drink something besides water during labor because I was getting weak, but I didn’t want to! I had 2 bites of peanut butter, a bite of cheese, and a couple sips of cranberry juice. So at this point I was ready to eat and I did!

After all your visitors left I went to take a shower with the help of the birth assistant, and Dad held you while they gave you a vitamin K shot. Then he dressed you in the same outfit I wore home from the hospital when I was born. Finally around midnight, about 5 hours after you were born, we buckled you into your carseat and left to go home. It had been almost a full 24 hours since we left the house.

Your birth was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I felt so empowered and so strong and capable. I absolutely do not regret choosing to have you drug free and outside of a hospital. I know it was what was best for both of us, because things would have gone a lot differently if I was in a hospital with an epidural. It’s VERY likely I would have had a c-section and I would have never gotten to experience those first beautiful moments with you. God led us to go all natural, and he was SO faithful to give me the grace I needed to do it.
One of the meanings for your name is God is Gracious… how fitting :)

Divorce from your Child’s Perspective

Let me begin by saying it’s very possible and probable that there are persons who will choose to be offended by what I write here. Specifically, my parents, siblings, or other family members. It is not my intention in the least to hurt anyone. If I can make even one person rethink that divorce is an option, then it will be worth the trouble I could potentially stir up.

Divorce. It’s a word that is not allowed in our marriage. Josh and I made that promise early on. Never – and I mean NEVER is that word used as a threat against the other person. Divorce is not something we take lightly. With good reason. We both come from divorced families. We don’t want to put our children through the crap we had to go through. Or continue to go through.

Our stories are very different. Today I speak to you from mine, but please don’t assume I’m naive enough to believe that my perspective accurately portrays all divorces or that some divorces don’t seem like the best idea for the children. Obviously, if your children are in physical danger that’s a different story. However, too many people today convince themselves the grass is greener on the other side. Divorce will be better than staying with their spouse. And I’m telling you right now: It won’t. It will not be better for you or your children. You know what’s good for your children? Seeing their parents fight for their marriage, battling to make it stronger. Showing your children THEY are worth the fight. If you don’t love your spouse or even yourself enough to fight for your marriage, do you love your kids enough to fight for it?

When you choose to divorce your spouse, you are choosing a divorce for your whole family. I don’t care how many good reasons you can come up with as to why a divorce will benefit your family. You will never be able to foresee all of the pain and worry it will cause your children. It will absolutely affect the person they become in more ways than you can imagine. It will absolutely affect your relationship with them. Negatively.

But Lisa, you don’t know my story.

You’re right. But I know mine. And I beg you. Please don’t make your child suffer the heartache that comes with divorce. Choosing sides. The pressure to make sure both parents feel equally loved – always trying not to show one parent or one family more attention than the other. Probably more than anything else, I’ve  felt the strain and the pressure of trying to please everyone. My dad. My mom. My stepdad. My (now ex-) stepmom. It’s just not humanly possible to please everyone. And honestly, it’s just not fair to do that to your kid. It has totally influenced the person I’ve become today. I am by nature a people pleaser, and I fight it all the time. All. the. time. I hate it.

Divorce from your Child's Perspective

I did not choose divorce. You did. And when you chose divorce, you chose to make me choose. You chose to make me choose between holidays with your family or the other – vacation time, school breaks, weekends, birthdays, weddings, graduations. Every time I choose I am forced to hurt someone. When I accept one parent I am by default rejecting the other. And that just sucks. I have to feel the guilt and regret of hurting the people I love most in this world.

I think sometimes my parents tried to hide the hurt. At other times they couldn’t help but show it. When someone hurts you, you want them to know. I don’t blame them for that. But it was their choice that put us all in this position. And if you choose divorce I can guarantee you will be putting your kids in that same position. Essentially, you will be forcing them to hurt you… And that will hurt them too.

There are moments throughout my life that replay in my mind – actions of mine that completely unintentionally hurt my parents. And they mar what should be happy memories of my life’s most significant events. I’m sure there were times too when my parents were hurt and never showed it. I’m always left to wonder if my actions, my choices are hurting someone I love.

Has it gotten better through the years? Yes. Have I learned how to navigate life with 2 families? Yes. But once the path of divorce has been chosen, it is chosen. You cannot escape it. The after effects will last until you leave this earth. Even once your kids are grown, there will be grandkids. Your children will once again be forced to choose.

I want you to know that my life is not some terrible, horrible thing. I am very blessed. The Lord can take the bad and use it for good. He certainly has done that in my life. I have a wonderful stepfather and wonderful step- and half-siblings who all would not be in my life had my parents stayed together. And I am so very grateful for them. I can’t imagine my life without these people. I’ve never known any other life. I’ve never known a life where there was one mom and one dad and one family. But oh, how I long for it. And OH, how I will fight for that for my children! Because I’ve seen the other side, and I will tell you the grass is not greener. It is a rotten brown where a few precious flowers have sprung up. If I were you, I’d stick with the lawn I have. A little maintenance on your part is a lot better than uprooting your kids and dumping them in an empty lot.

I Said Yes

Five years ago from today Josh asked me if I would “give us a try”. I still remember sitting across from him outside a local coffee shop with only the light from the window to illuminate our table. I can remember the plaid shirt he was wearing and the outfit I had on – a twirly skirt – perfect for the swing dancing “lessons” we had just come from that had become all the rage on our college campus.

He had asked to talk with me earlier that Sunday afternoon. I knew what was coming… and yet I didn’t. I never could have known the vision that he would share for our relationship and how true he would remain to it years later.

As Josh shared his heart with me that night, he emphasized his desire to not stand in the way of my dreams. He wanted a relationship, but he didn’t want that to pull me away from the things God has called me to do. He knew of my desire to minister to women. He knew that I, along with 2 others, had just started planning a conference for the girls on our campus. And he knew that it was only the beginning of all I want to do.

As Josh spoke, a hundred different thoughts were flying through my head, but one word just kept coming up over and over. Treasure. “Treasure,” I thought. “I have found a Treasure in this man,” and “This man is to be treasured.”

At that time Josh had no big ideas for what he wanted to do in the future. And I was bursting with them – BIG ideas. I think of how intimidating that could potentially be for a man. Josh was not intimidated by my dreams – he only encouraged them. He still does. He challenges me to take the steps, big or small, that will lead me to fulfilling my purpose on this earth. God knew I would need that, and Josh does a fantastic job of it – not only with his words, but with his actions. Josh has dreams now too. BIG ones :) and he goes after them! I am inspired to go after my dreams as I watch Josh wholeheartedly go after his.

Everybody needs an encourager in their life. A dream builder. Someone who will believe in them. There will always be people to tear down your dreams – including yourself at times. You’ve got to have that person who will cheer for you, challenge you, and speak life into your dreams.

So as I sat at that little wrought iron table in Tulsa, Oklahoma with a man who desired to encourage the potential inside of me, I knew without a doubt that I had to “give us a try”. This man was too much of a treasure to pass up.

Joshua Muccio, thanks for asking :)
At some point in our dating relationship we changed our mantra from “Let’s Give Us a Try” to “Let’s do this, and let’s do it well!” And we are doing it!

Comments

Hello all. I’d like to apologize. For some reason I was not getting any of your comments on my posts and so I seemed to be ignoring you. That is not the case. I’m sorry it appeared that way. 
Here are a few pictures of my precious GEM…

more to come…

Our Ski Trip to Steamboat

Just wanted to share a few photos from our trip to Colorado. I tried to post from my phone while I was there and encountered some glitches so maybe you’ll see that post later… or not.
We had a fantastic time! We went with Brandon’s family. It was relaxing for me, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with G while the others hit the slopes. However, on the last day Brandon’s parents babysat G so that Josh and Brandon could teach me how to ski. I mean, how could you go to the Rockies during ski season and not at least attempt it? I had a great time. Fell a lot, but laughed through it all :) Here are few photos from the trip…

 

 

 

 

 

The wedding is fast approaching

I can’t believe I’m getting married. It’s starting to seem real, now that the time is getting closer. Omigosh. I only have 17 more nights of climbing into bed alone and sleeping by myself. That is so weird! For the rest of my life I will be joined to this man. I am so excited!!! Our life is going to be amazing! From the seemingly insignificant things to the huge important things, every part of our life together is going to be wonderful. Of course there will be difficulties. That goes without saying, but I am going to enjoy being married for all it’s worth.

Make the most out of your life! The choice is up to you!

lovelisa